So you guys might be wondering where I’ve been for the past two days. Here’s the story: I was trying to go self hosted with Siteground, but because they work best with WordPress, it was a whole ordeal exporting everything from this blog to WordPress.com, and then I had to download WordPress.org and Filezilla, and then make a whole database and all that, and then it all blew up in my face when something in the admin panel of WordPress.org basically corrupted my admin dashboard and I couldn’t log back in. I got frustrated, cancelled my account with Siteground, but didn’t realize that it was a rule on the internet that you can’t get your domain back until 60 days had passed, which is a whole pain up the butt in itself.
Then I tried to go self-hosted again, this time with Squarespace. Squarespace was okay, but because I’m writing this off a mobile hotspot, it took too long, and in the process, I realized that this space was never ever going to go professional because of the style of my photos and the fact that I use Canva to make my blog graphics. Defeated, I deleted my Squarespace domain and cancelled my account with them.
Which brings us to why I’m taking a hiatus. I’m taking one because I have felt super frustrated at my blog, about how it’s not really gone anywhere despite me doing this for nearly 5 years of my life. It has made me feel really really…down, to say the least, like I failed at something, and I can’t help but think if I’d done things differently before this path, would I be successful at my blog (and the fact that I’ve wasted about $60 just experimenting on all two platforms (which I shouldn’t have done in the first place, admittedly), although I am getting my refund for $20 back for my Squarespace domain). I’ve also felt frustrated and insecure at seeing many bloggers, some of whom started later than I, get better opportunities and there I was, just barely floating with my head above water. For the first time in my entire blogging career of almost five years, I thought about shutting it down and deleting that…forever. Leave that part of my life behind, but there is still a small part of me that still adores blogging and wants it to be part of my life, no matter how long it takes for me to get to where I want to be.
I will still churn out new content, but after all that new content is done, it will be a while before I write anything new, due to very low spirits. I still will be around on Twitter (@blushandpeony) and Instagram (same @) and possibly try and make new videos on Youtube (did I ever tell you guys I’m kind of back on Youtube? It’s not going to be official because I’m a boring person who doesn’t have a filmable life but still), but very sparingly because those places make me feel like…trash. Maybe I just need a break from the internet period, lol.
I hope to see you guys soon!